Going back to the room, I get to talk to one of the relatives of my groom. She’s wishing me luck for the big day and for the baby on the way (apparently, I was pregnant already). She’s very sweet. I like her.

I caressed my stomach. Although I can tell there’s no bump yet, I can feel there’s a life forming inside me. I was thrilled to start a new chapter of my life with him.

Then I could remember being in the church with my groom. He looks very handsome in his suit. “But isn’t he supposed to be wearing a barong?” I asked myself but nevermind, I’m happy and in love. They’re all that matter.. and then I snapped out of my dream with details of it planted vividly in my reverie..

…

Last night I got to talk to my college friend, Irish. He is one of my closest friend back then. Although eccentric and sometimes annoying, he’s fun to be with and I know he has a good side. We were talking about still being single and asked me if it sometimes depresses me. I said no and that is the truth. Of course, there are times when I would really want to have a boyfriend to do things together, to go places together, share dreams together, and all that stuff but I guess having a boyfriend is not my priority right now.

My friend don’t want to take my answer confiding that sometimes he really thought about it.. being in a relationship. I told him that’s normal but he does not have to worry, that in perfect time he’ll find his perfect match. It was nice chatting again with him. I almost miss our usual chats and kulitans back then.

After my chat with Irish and before going to bed, I say a little prayer. I asked the Lord to give me an inspiration that will really bring out the best in me. I guess I’m ready for a relationship but I hope He give me someone who will cherish me, love me, and would never ever hurt me. I prayed to Him that I guess I’m ready now to forget my current fantasies.. that this thing I’m holding is not really going anywhere. I’m ready now and more than willing to forget my feelings for him.

..

I instantly fell asleep and then when I woke up this morning I have a vivid recollection of my dream. I can’t really explain how I feel. My groom in the dream was not Irish. It was the very guy I like whom I intend to neglect my feelings for him. My first thought was: I want to forget my feeling for you but why do I have to dream about you marrying me right after praying for someone that will really inspire me??

That was really weird. I was confused, I googled about dream meanings particularly marriage. Here’s what Dreammoods‘s interpretation:

Marriage
To dream of a marriage, signifies commitment, harmony or transitions. You are undergoing an important developmental phase in your life. The dream may also represent the unification of formerly separate or opposite aspects of yourself. In particular, it is the union of masculine or feminine aspects of yourself.Consider the qualities and characteristics of the person that you are marrying. These are the qualities that you need to look at incorporating within yourself.

Nuptial
To dream of your nuptials, indicate a reaffirmation of your commitments. It is also symbolic of a transitional stage occurring in your life.

Pregnant
To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. Being pregnant in your dream may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal. Alternatively, if you are trying to get pregnant, then the dream may be a wish fulfillment. If you are not trying to get pregnant, but dream that you are, then it symbolizes fear of new responsibilities.

I also look up the meaning of wedding on the site. The result terrified me.

Wedding
To see a wedding in your dream, symbolizes a new beginning or transition in your current life. A wedding reflects your issues about commitment and independence.Alternatively, your wedding dream refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow, or death. Such dreams are often negative and highlight some anxiety or fear. If you dream that the wedding goes wrong or ends in disaster, then it suggests that you need to address some negativity immediately. If you are getting married and have dreams of your pending wedding, then it highlights the stress of organizing a wedding. Conflicts over wedding details, tension with family and in-laws, fear of commitment, and loss of independence may all cause wedding anxiety dreams. Research has shown that up to 40% of brides and grooms have dreams about their ceremony and things going perfectly.
To dream that you are attending a wedding, consider how you feel at the wedding. If you are upset or sad, then it means that you are unhappy about the current status of your life. If you are happy, then you are embracing a new change in your life.

To dream that you are getting married to your current spouse again, represents your wedded bliss and happiness. It highlights your strong commitment to each other. It may also signify a new phase (such as parenthood, new home, etc) that you are entering in your life.

To dream that you are planning a wedding to someone you never met, is a metaphor symbolizing the union of your masculine and feminine side. It represents a transitional phase where you are seeking some sort of balance between your aggressive side and emotional side. The dream may also indicate that two previously conflicting aspects are merging together as one.

I hope the dream meant nothing. I guess I was carried away by my emotions again that I wanted to have an explanation to everything. I really hope it meant nothing.

I just finished watching a cute anime. It’s called Itazura na Kiss.

I’ve actually watched it’s Taiwanese live action version before but it is a lot cuter on its anime version. I remember how much I like this drama because the Taiwanese actor who played the part of Irie Naoki looks a lot like my super crush back then . And, that time I was really into this guy. I even watched its replays during the weekends. It’s funny recalling silly moments of my college life.

I love the kiss in the rain scene. For me one of the most romantic thing that could ever happen to a girl is to be kissed in the rain. My heart was racing when that scene was playing. I also like the part where Naoki gets jealous. It’s cute to see a guy gets jealous sometimes. Most especially if he is not aware of it and keeps on denying it.

This is a funny anime. I like the flow of the story and its simplicity. This is really cute and worth watching. It temporarily relieves my worries and made me feel crazy, in love, and giggly.

Here’s the video of that song.

I have a girl-crush on her, Leighton Meester. I like her style. I love her hair.. I simply like her..

^_^

I’m not feeling well. I feel like throwing up but I don’t want to have a nasty taste on my mouth that’s why I tried with all my might not to vomit.

A friend is worried about my condition so she decided not to attend the program and stayed with me in our classroom which happened to be in the fourth floor. She was so energetic telling me about the recent episode of Dawson’s Creek. We both love the sitcom and we never fail to discuss every episode while majority of our girl classmates are talking about boys and boys are talking about just anything.

I felt the content of my stomach rushed through my throat and I know that I can’t hold it anymore. I ran to the CR but it was quite far from our room. I consider myself lucky for reaching a trash can before spluttering whatever it is that has to be thrown up.

My friend ran after me and she was rubbing my back while I was throwing up. After a few seconds, two medics went to my aid. They probably heard me puking. Oh that’s so embarrassing.

After my puking escapades, the two medics brought me to the clinic and made me lie down on the bed. They asked me a few questions and made me rest for a while.

The talkative guy, who happens to be called Roy, urged his companion, San Diego (Sorry, I only remembered his last name), to sing. This according to him will make me feel better. Unexpectedly, the guy did sing. He sang ‘King and Queen of Hearts’. Hehe. His singing was not that bad but Roy joked that it made me feel even worse. He even told him that he’ll show how the real singing should sound.

.. And he sang.. He has a great voice. I couldn’t believe it at first. My impression of him was a snob and a bad boy who doesn’t know how to smile and no way that incredible voice was to be of the guy I imagined him to be.

But I was wrong. He’s sweet, gentle, and caring. And in that clinic, I developed a crush on him.

^_^

He sang Bobby Caldwell’s ‘Heart of Mine’. And for a long time.. until now.. I love that song. I felt his song. During those times in the clinic, I feel like I was being serenaded. It was a wonderful feeling!

Heart of mine,
How can you keep from dying
Stop reminiscin’, who is she kissing
Heart of mine,
Oh what’s the use in tryin’
No one can mend you now

I think he was sad that time but I like the way he sang. It was as if he owns the song. It was beautiful!

I learned that he has two siblings. He’s the youngest in the family and his dream was to be a pilot.

I started feeling better after quite a while and I hate it when time flies really fast. Soon, the morning class concluded, he advised me to go home and take a rest. We chatted more and then he made me take some medicines.

Once I got home, I had my lunch and took a nap. I woke up feeling cold and my mom just found out that I have a high fever. I told her that I spent the rest of the morning in the clinic but never mentioned Roy. I was never open to her about this kind of things. Sorry Mom!

My condition got worse in the evening. I tried to just sleep, not liking the feeling of being sick. And that night I dreamt of him!

^_^

Come back again. I have to sleep now but there’s part two!

I keep hopin’ one day I’ll awaken, and somehow she’ll be lying by my side
And as I wonder if the dawn is really breakin’
She touches me and suddenly I’m alive

We climb and climb and at the top we fly
Let the world go on below us, we are lost in time
And I don’t know really what it means
All I know is that you love me, in my dreams

I love that song!! I also like its lyrics. ^_^

It kind of makes me remember my high school days when I have a huge crush on this guy but he likes someone else..

All I know is that you love me, in my dreams

Haha!!

Right now, its already 2:40 a.m., and I’m still studying for my 3 quizzes tomorrow..=( I’m almost done with the first subject that’s why I decided to take a break and surf the net… I checked my YM and everyone is offline… Oh well…, I hope I can really make it this semester…

About the training…. I’m really having a good time in West.. I’ve learned a lot of things already… and I can really say that the experience is worth the things that I’ve sacrificed.. I’ve met wonderful people and learned things from them.. With a short span of time I can say, beyond doubt, that I’ve grown as a person…. I really like it there… I hope I can make it…. =D

*This is titled ‘i fall so deep’ because it’s the song that’s playing and I can’t think of a title for this post**