I don’t know what else to write. The lyrics already say it all. ♥

A Thousand Years by Christina Perri


(Verse 1)
♫ Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I’m afraid
To fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt
Suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

(Chorus)
I have died everyday
waiting for you
Darlin’ don’t be afraid
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I’ll love you for a
Thousand more

(Verse 2)
Time stands still
Beauty I know she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything
Take away
What’s standing in front of me
Every breath,
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

(Chorus)
I have died everyday
Waiting for you
Darlin’ don’t be afraid
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I’ll love you for a
Thousand more

And all along I believed
I would find you
Time has brought
Your heart to me
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I’ll love you for a
Thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

(Chorus)
I have died everyday
Waiting for you
Darlin’ don’t be afraid,
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I’ll love you for a
Thousand more

And all along I believed
I would find you
Time has brought
Your heart to me
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I’ll love you for a
Thousand more ♫

♫ ♪ I’d build myself up,
And fly around in circles,
Waiting as my heart drops,
And my back begins to tingle
Finally could this be it or

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even if I knew my place should I leave it there? ♪ ♫

This is the current soundtrack of my life. I don’t want to elaborate because it will just make this post unbelievably long and I’m not yet ready to write about this current dilemma. Maybe in time I will be able to do so but for now, enjoy Adele’s song.

♩♬♪ Together can never be close enough for me
Feel like I am close enough to you
You wear white and I’ll wear out the words I love
And you’re beautiful
Now that the wait is over
And love and has finally shown her my way
Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me ♩♪♫

Hoping that someday, the right guy would sing this beautiful lyrics to me.. but until that day, maybe all I can do is to learn to get hold of my emotions..

I used to pride myself as the rational girl but I was wrong. I guess I’m just like any other girl after all but that’s okay. I like myself better now..

By watching this kdrama, I was inspired to write something about my perfect match ♥_♥. My perfect someone..

♥ would always hold my hand,
♥ would be my BESTFRIEND forever,
♥ is supportive,
♥ would never check other women,
♥ is a gentleman,
♥ would respect me,
♥ would cherish me,
♥ would buy me flowers but he will hold them while we are walking together and would not be ashamed of it,
♥ would love my baked goodies ^_^,
♥ is god-fearing,
♥ would kiss me in the rain,
♥ would ask me to dance with him,
♥ would dance with me in the rain,
♥ loves his mom and sisters,
♥ would take care of me when I’m sick,
♥ would give me sweet surprises,
♥ would take me to his most favorite place in the world,
♥ would make me laugh ,
♥ would give me assurance that I’m his ONLY love (It’s ok though to have crushes.),
♥ would always be open to me,
♥ would never lie to me,
♥ would never make me jealous,
♥ would comfort me if I’m feeling down,
♥ would make my heart beat faster,
♥ is a good listener,
♥ would love to go and walk in the beach with me,
♥ would never ever HURT me PHYSICALLY,
♥ would understand if I’m having mood swings,
♥ would put his arms around me,
♥ would love the weird stuff about me ,
♥ is responsible,
♥ is trustworthy,
♥ would protect me,
♥ would take care of me and would never ever NEGLECT and TAKE ADVANTAGE of me,
♥ would want me in his FUTURE,
♥ would love me FOREVER..

Whew! That was a long list. Meeting someone with all of these qualities is really impossible that is why I’m not expecting. A few of these qualities is fine with me. Anyway, I’m parking on Youtube and watched this sweet video:

The guy in this drama, Gino, is exactly my type.. ^_^ He’s tall, mysterious, rational, straight forward. He knows what he wants in life, hardworking, resourceful, knows how to cook, sweet in his own ways.

I’m so absorbed with this drama. If the girl is hurting, I can also feel the pain. When her friend and boyfriend cheated on her, I feel very upset and also hurt.

There was a scene in the drama that I made me really sad. It was when her ex-boyfriend told Julienne that the reason why he left her for other girl is because she never gave herself wholly to him. I felt really bad. I’ve been told that most guys would want that but I hope to meet someone who will tell me he love me not because he want to get into my pants. I can relate to the girl when he told his ex that her heart beats fast when he kisses her and that hearing his voice makes her feel light-headed because I’ll feel the same way.

I would want my relationship to be based on emotional attachment and not the physical one. I want our love to be pure and true. I know that it is hard to find and that I must work on it.

I’ve also been told by some of my aggressive friends that some guys are shy. They fear rejection. So it is okay if I’m the one who make the first move.. but I can’t do that. I really can’t. I’m scared too. The mere thought of it makes me nervous and my heart to race.

I want to meet someone who will compliment me like a soulmate. I’m willing to wait. I’ll be patiently waiting but please hurry up.

.. or could it be that I’ve already met you?! and I’m just too blind to see and insensitive?? I wish I could tell. I wish I could read signs but I’m no fortune teller. I’m not the type who would assume that a guy likes me if he’s being nice or sweet to me. For me, these actions are just signs of his being friendly unless he said otherwise, unless he said he likes me.

Going back to the room, I get to talk to one of the relatives of my groom. She’s wishing me luck for the big day and for the baby on the way (apparently, I was pregnant already). She’s very sweet. I like her.

I caressed my stomach. Although I can tell there’s no bump yet, I can feel there’s a life forming inside me. I was thrilled to start a new chapter of my life with him.

Then I could remember being in the church with my groom. He looks very handsome in his suit. “But isn’t he supposed to be wearing a barong?” I asked myself but nevermind, I’m happy and in love. They’re all that matter.. and then I snapped out of my dream with details of it planted vividly in my reverie..

…

Last night I got to talk to my college friend, Irish. He is one of my closest friend back then. Although eccentric and sometimes annoying, he’s fun to be with and I know he has a good side. We were talking about still being single and asked me if it sometimes depresses me. I said no and that is the truth. Of course, there are times when I would really want to have a boyfriend to do things together, to go places together, share dreams together, and all that stuff but I guess having a boyfriend is not my priority right now.

My friend don’t want to take my answer confiding that sometimes he really thought about it.. being in a relationship. I told him that’s normal but he does not have to worry, that in perfect time he’ll find his perfect match. It was nice chatting again with him. I almost miss our usual chats and kulitans back then.

After my chat with Irish and before going to bed, I say a little prayer. I asked the Lord to give me an inspiration that will really bring out the best in me. I guess I’m ready for a relationship but I hope He give me someone who will cherish me, love me, and would never ever hurt me. I prayed to Him that I guess I’m ready now to forget my current fantasies.. that this thing I’m holding is not really going anywhere. I’m ready now and more than willing to forget my feelings for him.

..

I instantly fell asleep and then when I woke up this morning I have a vivid recollection of my dream. I can’t really explain how I feel. My groom in the dream was not Irish. It was the very guy I like whom I intend to neglect my feelings for him. My first thought was: I want to forget my feeling for you but why do I have to dream about you marrying me right after praying for someone that will really inspire me??

That was really weird. I was confused, I googled about dream meanings particularly marriage. Here’s what Dreammoods‘s interpretation:

Marriage
To dream of a marriage, signifies commitment, harmony or transitions. You are undergoing an important developmental phase in your life. The dream may also represent the unification of formerly separate or opposite aspects of yourself. In particular, it is the union of masculine or feminine aspects of yourself.Consider the qualities and characteristics of the person that you are marrying. These are the qualities that you need to look at incorporating within yourself.

Nuptial
To dream of your nuptials, indicate a reaffirmation of your commitments. It is also symbolic of a transitional stage occurring in your life.

Pregnant
To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. Being pregnant in your dream may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal. Alternatively, if you are trying to get pregnant, then the dream may be a wish fulfillment. If you are not trying to get pregnant, but dream that you are, then it symbolizes fear of new responsibilities.

I also look up the meaning of wedding on the site. The result terrified me.

Wedding
To see a wedding in your dream, symbolizes a new beginning or transition in your current life. A wedding reflects your issues about commitment and independence.Alternatively, your wedding dream refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow, or death. Such dreams are often negative and highlight some anxiety or fear. If you dream that the wedding goes wrong or ends in disaster, then it suggests that you need to address some negativity immediately. If you are getting married and have dreams of your pending wedding, then it highlights the stress of organizing a wedding. Conflicts over wedding details, tension with family and in-laws, fear of commitment, and loss of independence may all cause wedding anxiety dreams. Research has shown that up to 40% of brides and grooms have dreams about their ceremony and things going perfectly.
To dream that you are attending a wedding, consider how you feel at the wedding. If you are upset or sad, then it means that you are unhappy about the current status of your life. If you are happy, then you are embracing a new change in your life.

To dream that you are getting married to your current spouse again, represents your wedded bliss and happiness. It highlights your strong commitment to each other. It may also signify a new phase (such as parenthood, new home, etc) that you are entering in your life.

To dream that you are planning a wedding to someone you never met, is a metaphor symbolizing the union of your masculine and feminine side. It represents a transitional phase where you are seeking some sort of balance between your aggressive side and emotional side. The dream may also indicate that two previously conflicting aspects are merging together as one.

I hope the dream meant nothing. I guess I was carried away by my emotions again that I wanted to have an explanation to everything. I really hope it meant nothing.

I just finished watching a cute anime. It’s called Itazura na Kiss.

I’ve actually watched it’s Taiwanese live action version before but it is a lot cuter on its anime version. I remember how much I like this drama because the Taiwanese actor who played the part of Irie Naoki looks a lot like my super crush back then . And, that time I was really into this guy. I even watched its replays during the weekends. It’s funny recalling silly moments of my college life.

I love the kiss in the rain scene. For me one of the most romantic thing that could ever happen to a girl is to be kissed in the rain. My heart was racing when that scene was playing. I also like the part where Naoki gets jealous. It’s cute to see a guy gets jealous sometimes. Most especially if he is not aware of it and keeps on denying it.

This is a funny anime. I like the flow of the story and its simplicity. This is really cute and worth watching. It temporarily relieves my worries and made me feel crazy, in love, and giggly.

Yesterday, I went home after hearing my mom cried over the phone. When I got home, she told me what happened. My mom is a very emotional woman. She can’t help sobbing while narrating to me what had happened. I tried holding up my tears but in the middle of her story I broke down in tears also. I hate seeing her cry.

Then she said that she’s been hurt by what happened and threatens to leave us. I can’t stand the thought of her leaving us. I grew up and she’s always been there. I almost thought that my mom is forever and the mere thought of not seeing her is really scary.

She told me that she has somewhat voiced out the same sentiment to my father and according to her my dad do not want to stay and look after us, he wanted to go with her wherever she might go. That heightens the sadness.

I know that they have been loving each other more as they grow older. I like the thought of my dad not wanting to part from my mom but I do not want them to leave us either. I always thought that my dad is so lucky to have my mom. She’s the most caring, compassionate, and selfless person I know in the world. But now I realized that my dad loves my mom also. Maybe he’s not just being transparent about his feelings all these years but I know he also loves my mom so much. I never knew of any woman linked to my dad. He never left the house to go to some bar or whatever places guys would usually hang out.

I don’t know how exactly my mom and dad fell in love with each other but my mom told me once that she had been through a lot just to be with my dad.

The video I embedded above just made me remember my parents. They are growing old now but I’ve been witnessing that they are becoming closer and closer to each other. I love you both.

.. and while on Youtube I saw a related video of the same title. I played it and I loved it instantly. It’s lovely and unexpectedly piercing. Here’s my chosen video for that song, Kiss the Rain by Yiruma:

.. music so lovely!

I kind of browsed my unorganized files and saw this picture of my dad with his dad during his graduation. I don’t know if this is grade school or high school. I like it! It’s nice seeing pictures of your parents when they were young. I remember last time I saw another picture of my dad with his overgrown hair and lousy fashion statement. Hehe.. It was funny but of course in a good way. :p

My Dad ^_^

My mom calls my dad ‘Popoy‘. I don’t know why. Maybe there’s a special reason behind that but I never heard my dad call my mother in any other ‘sweet’ name. Oh well, our dad is not really a sweet guy.. but I can feel that for my mom he’s everything to her..

Happy Birthday Papa!! Sorry I can’t be with you on your birthday. But don’t worry, I’ll buy you a cake when I get home..